


Guilty Pleasures

by SaintOfLosAngeles



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019), The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band Book - Mötley Crüe & Neil Strauss
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 12:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintOfLosAngeles/pseuds/SaintOfLosAngeles
Summary: Being in love with your best friend is all fun and games until you pop a boner every time they bat their eyelashes at you.





	Guilty Pleasures

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a request on tumblr! I think most of my Terrorcest lovers are on my tumblr but I figured I’d post here anyway. This was fun to write but I wrote it kinda quickly so I hope it isn’t too awful!

Nikki hated Tommy, honestly.

Well, maybe not. But admitting that he _hates_ Tommy is a lot less soul crushing than admitting that he _loves_ Tommy.

But he does, he loves _everything_ about that beautiful man, especially that fucking smile. From his stupid shit eating grin that he flashes Nikki right after he’s done something that is about to get the both of them in _serious_ trouble, to the genuine _beaming_ smile that Nikki gets whenever he shows Tommy any sort of affection or gives him any sort of praise.

They were best friends, they were the Terror Twins.

Always at each other’s side, one was never far from the other. All the inside jokes, the uncontrollable laughter when they were together, the care that they gave each other on tour- making sure the other ate and taking care of the other when they were puking into a bush outside of a bar- all of that wasn’t helping the longing that Nikki felt for his drummer. If it was just a physical need, Nikki would probably be able to bury it down, just go jack off and forget about it, but now that the emotions had taken over, the bassist knew there was little hope for him.

But one thing that Nikki really does _hate_, is the effect that Tommy has on him in public. Nikki had been so cautious, so fucking careful, to avoid letting any of his _not-so-platonic_ feelings toward his drummer show, but _fuck_ it was hard. It was hard to keep that sparkle that he could feel in his eyes when just _looking_ at the kid buried deep on a normal day, but Nikki knew things were starting to get out of hand.

Especially when yesterday, after a particularly exhilarating concert, Tommy had run at him _full speed_before jumping into his arms, legs wrapped around Nikki holding him upright. This had taken Nikki off guard but also sent a sense of _joy_ to his heart, and a sense of _longing_ straight to his dick.

_Bail, abort mission, get the **fuck** out of there, Nikki._

Tommy was pressed up against him so tight, they were chest to chest, and Nikki could feel Tommy’s bulge pressing into his lower stomach, because those leggings were too tight to conceal _anything_ and- _nope nope nope_. Nothing about this was okay.

He was standing here with his hands on Tommy’s ass to keep him from falling onto the concrete arena floor backstage, and Tommy’s breath was tickling his ear while he laughed like a _maniac_, and went on and on about how much fucking _fun_ that was, and Nikki knew he had to get out of there. He could smell Tommy’s scent, maybe unpleasant to some, whiskey mixed with sweat and hairspray, but it was all so overwhelmingly _Tommy_ that Nikki couldn’t help but fucking love it, and he felt the stirring in his groin intensify. He loved everything about this hyperactive puppy dog of a man, and it was going to kill him, this was how he was going to die.

He set Tommy down with a nervous laugh and a mumble about getting a shower, and ruffled his hair quickly before glancing up into Tommy’s eyes for a split second before turning on his heel and speed walking to his dressing room.

The look of sadness in Tommy’s eyes was _almost_ enough to make him turn back around and take him back into his arms, but sadly that just wasn’t an option. He _hated_ Tommy being sad and feeling like Nikki was rejecting his friendly gestures, but Tommy would be even sadder when he realizes his best friend, the co-founder of his fucking band, can’t help but to get a fucking boner every time he touches him. 

So Nikki bursts into his dressing room, locking the door behind him with a sigh- both a sigh of relief and disdain. He stands there, forehead pressed against the dressing room door, wanting nothing more than to go find his drummer, and tell that _stupid curly haired motherfucker_ that he loves him more than fucking _anything_, and then make him scream his name loud enough for every member of their stage crew to hear.

But Nikki can’t do that, so as he sheds his clothes and steps into the shower, letting the warm water soothe his sore muscles, he lets his hand slip lower, thinking about how it felt to have Tommy’s lean body in his arms and tells himself that this is **enough**.

——

The afterparty at Tommy’s house is already in full swing by the time Nikki shows up, and Tommy looks to already be a few shots deep as his glossy eyes absolutely _light up_ when they focus on Nikki.

Any awkwardness or hesitation caused by Nikki’s earlier departure seems to have no effect on Tommy thanks to the liquor because Tommy’s smile is as bright as ever as he stumbles over to Nikki, bottle of Jack Daniels in hand.

“Nikki! I’ve been looking for you, man, I fucking _missed you_.” Tommy was planting a sloppy kiss on Nikki’s cheek, making him flinch a bit, but Tommy didn’t seem to notice as he held the bottle to Nikki’s lips, tipping it back for the bassist to get a generous swig.

All Nikki could think of as Tommy threw his arm over his shoulder was that if Tommy was going to be this close all fucking night, he needed to be drunk enough to quiet the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to kiss Tommy. Or would it quiet the one telling him to _run the hell away_ from Tommy? Nikki didn’t know, both voices had coincided within him for so long now, and as constant as they were, they were also unpredictable.

Nikki grabbed the bottle out of Tommy’s hand to take another long swig, smirking when he heard the huff of protest come from Tommy’s lips, only for him to beam yet another dazzling smile at him and run off in search for another bottle.

Crazy kid.

——

When he sees Tommy again, he is much more intoxicated than the last time Nikki saw him. He was slurring his words and his eyes had a far off look about them, but in true Tommy fashion he was still fucking _smiling_.

Nikki’s own head was spinning, the warm feeling in his stomach spreading into his chest, and his head that seemed to weigh a hundred pounds at the moment. He leaned his head backwards to rest on the couch he was sitting on and focused on his breathing as he tried to slow the spinning of the room.

_How much had he had to drink again?_

Not that it mattered, because Tommy was stumbling over to him, tripping over his own feet and grinning from ear to ear in his drunken stupor, planting himself firmly on Nikki’s lap, pushing himself down as far as he would go so he could rest his head on Nikki’s shoulder as he giggled about _absolutely nothing._

Nikki couldn’t help the smile that took over his face as he looked down to see the chestnut curls fanned out over his shoulder, and listened as little hiccups passed through Tommy’s lips.

He was so beautiful, so lovable, so kissable, so _fuckable_.

Tommy’s long, calloused fingers were gripping at Nikki’s tank top and he was melting into the bassist as if he was trying to become one with him, and Nikki couldn’t help but turn his head and let his nose bury itself into Tommy’s hair, trying to be gentle, trying not to be _too obvious,_ but Tommy’s scent was pulling him in stronger than his willpower could withstand given his drunken state.

Tommy _definitely_ noticed, but he _definitely_ didn’t care as he tilted his head up to nuzzle Nikki’s jawline before murmuring out something about ‘best friend’ before hiccuping again.

Drunk Tommy was even more affectionate than sober Tommy, and drunk Nikki was loving it, loving it a little too much.

The more Tommy nuzzled against Nikki’s neck, and the more Nikki could feel Tommy’s hot breath against his skin, the more hyper aware he became of the fact that- **shit**\- Tommy was on his lap right now. Tommy’s ass was plopped on the couch right between his legs, and Nikki can only hope his body is too far gone on liquor to react appropriately to this situation.

No such luck, no such _fucking_ luck, his body is reacting, tingling, _longing_.

_Shit, shit, shit._

Nikki was pushing on Tommy then, trying to wiggle his way out from underneath him, mumbling out excuses that sounded fucking pathetic and empty even to his own ears.

Unfortunately for Nikki, Tommy wasn’t fucking having it this time. His grip on Nikki’s tank top only grew firmer and _fuck_, Nikki was trapped. Tommy wasn’t moving, wasn’t letting him up, and short of throwing the kid across the room there was no getting out from this and- fuck, Tommy **HAD** to feel that right?

Tommy should be punching him, threatening him, storming away from him, because there was no denying that Nikki was growing hard in his leather pants and one look down at Tommy’s awestruck, confused expression tells Nikki that, yeah, Tommy can _definitely_ tell and Jesus fuck how is he supposed to explain this? Nikki wanted to cry. _Please Tommy, please just don’t fucking hate me._

The seconds are _tick, tick, ticking _away and it felt like hours to Nikki, hours of silence and absolute fear of the next words that are going to come out of Tommy’s perfect lips. Tommy’s mouth opens and Nikki braces himself for the rejection and heartbreak, but what he gets was a strangled ‘_I think I’m gonna fucking puke.’_

Just like that, Nikki was ushering his best friend off his lap then, using one hand to adjust himself in his pants, trying to make it a _little_ less noticeable anyway, and dragging Tommy to the bathroom, because he wasn’t about to be rejected and puked on in the same fucking night.

Nikki manhandled Tommy to the toilet, where the drummer immediately sunk to his knees, emptying out some of the night’s earlier contents.

Despite what happened earlier and despite the look of absolute bewilderment on Tommy’s face when he realized the excitement that was going on Nikki’s trousers, Nikki couldn’t help but feel the absolute _need_to take care of his drummer when he was getting sick. He hated seeing Tommy miserable, and it was hardwired into Nikki’s DNA at this point: _take care of Tommy, because he sure as hell takes care of you._

No one else wants the task of putting up with Nikki’s moody, damaged ass, but Tommy does it without question and seemingly _enjoys_ it.

An anomaly that Nikki will never truly understand.

So Nikki ran his fingers through Tommy’s curly locks, smiling at how soft and absolutely _lovely_ Tommy’s hair is. It was one of Nikki’s favorite parts about Tommy, and Nikki couldn’t help but wonder if Tommy would be into hair pulling during sex.

Attempting to dispel that thought as soon as it entered his mind, Nikki leaned forward into Tommy, chest to back, enjoying this closeness, this _contact_ while he could. Come morning when Tommy sobers up and remembers this, Nikki has no idea how he will even react, so he should probably soak in every moment of this that he could. He was pleasantly surprised to feel Tommy’s hand creep up and rest on top of his own, which was still tangled in the drummer’s hair, cracking a smile into his shoulder as Tommy’s heaves subside and his breath evens out.

For a moment, neither said a word, and neither moved. They just sat there in each other’s arms, enjoying the moment of closeness and privacy before Tommy breaks the silence.

“Sorry, Nik, about the puke. Kinda a boner killer.”

Nikki _snorted_, so help him he actually fucking snorted. Leave it to Tommy to crack a joke over something that was a _serious fucking situation_, something that happened _literally_ 90 seconds ago.

Despite his calm demeanor as he gently rocked his best friend back and forth on the filthy bathroom floor, Nikki’s stomach was knotted up in a _panic_ level of fucking fear, fear of losing the one person that is there for him time and time again, the one person that can always break the mask of indifference he wears daily and forces him to crack a smile, the one person who’s happiness means more to Nikki than his own.

Yeah, Nikki was fucking _petrified_, and Tommy was cracking jokes.

It just gave the bassist an overwhelming feeling of _affection_ for the kid, and it only amplified when Tommy turned his head to blink up at Nikki with blearily exhausted brown eyes and grunted out, “Bed?”. As if Tommy couldn’t get up, leave the bathroom and Nikki behind and get himself to his bedroom and forget all of this ever happened, but _no_. Tommy’s tone made it clear to the bassist what Tommy was really saying.

“_Make sure I make it to bed? Help me get there, Nikki”_

Nikki could never deny Tommy anything even if he wanted to, so he untangled himself from the drummer and stood, offering a hand to the man below him. Tommy wiped his mouth on his sleeve, grunting in disgust as he grabbed Nikki’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up.

Nikki opened his fingers to let Tommy’s hand go, but was taken aback when he realized that- Tommy was not letting go. Despite being firmly on his feet again his hand still clutched at Nikki’s like a lifeline, and he even felt a familiar weight pressing against him as Tommy leaned into him, weight spurring him into walking as they made their way out of the bathroom.

Nikki wasn’t blind to the fact that, _shit_, he was walking Tommy to his bedroom, hand in hand, and anyone who saw this would _definitely_ think they were about to fuck.

Not that Nikki would be _complaining_, but Tommy was much too drunk and Nikki was much too terrified.

They finally reached the end of the long hallway to the bedroom, and Nikki was vaguely aware of Tommy’s foot kicking the door shut behind them as they crossed the threshold into the room that Nikki had spent many nights in, but it all felt so _different_ now. The bed was a welcome sight to Nikki’s tired body as Tommy laid himself down on the bed, curling in on himself, hand still gripping Nikki’s firmly.

Nikki found himself completely unsure of what to do, he was just standing there awkwardly, Tommy wasn’t saying a word but his hand had a death grip on Nikki’s own and his eyes were still blinking up at him as if he were expecting something out of the bassist.

“You.. You gonna let me go so I can find somewhere to crash, man?”

Nikki didn’t want to leave, the bed look so inviting because he was fucking exhausted and this particular bed held the only person he would want to be with after a night like tonight, but as much as he didn’t want to leave, he couldn’t just _stand there _all night.

But Tommy was shaking his head back and forth slowly, still silent as he tugged on Nikki’s hand, as if urging him to lay down beside him.

“Are… are you _sure_, man? I..”

Nikki’s doubts were cut off by a particularly strong tug, sending Nikki forward slightly, and _of course_Nikki gave in, laying down on the bed facing Tommy with a sigh, eyes mere inches apart, searching for something in the drummer’s brown orbs, _anything_ to tell him why he was doing this, what he was feeling in this moment.

Will sober Nikki regret this in the morning? Maybe. But right now, the hand that is still clutched in his own is _warm_, sending that warmth flowing through every vein in Nikki’s body to settle in the pit of his chest, and Tommy’s lips have this _smile_ on them, and that’s all that ever really matters anyway to Nikki.

Of course, Nikki knows that come morning he will wake up before Tommy, _as always,_ and slip out undetected with the hope that the drummer remembers _none_ of this upon opening those brown eyes of his. He knows that once Tommy sobers up, maybe the thought of holding Nikki’s hand in bed may seem weird to him, but he’ll slip out before the drummer even has to worry about feeling awkward.

Nikki knew he had let this go _way_ too far this time, but the damage was done, and he may as well enjoy this moment until dawn.

Nikki let his eyes slip shut, the outline of Tommy’s own eyes still etched behind his lids as he heard the other man’s small voice say:

“_Please don’t run away this time.”_

**Fuck**.

That one line just ruined the _whole fucking plan,_ the whole escape plot, because when could Nikki ever deny Tommy anything?


End file.
